When you are pregnant your hormones make you crazy. I’ve never been a big crier, unless its coming up to that time of the month – such a cliché, I know. I have also been known to bring out the tears when I want Grump to be nice to me or for him to feel bad for being mean (I am aware I sound very manipulative!).

Anyway, since being pregnant, I found I was crying at everything, from those adverts on the TV about mistreated donkeys to the bloody John Lewis Christmas one about the sad old man who lived on the moon. That was a particular low as I first watched the advert on YouTube in the office and cried at my desk in front of my work colleagues. It just wasn’t the sort of place you cry in public and I was really sobbing and they all thought I was emotionally unstable.

Apologies, I’m digressing. The point is I cried a lot in the second and third trimesters of my pregnancy. The worst incident was when we went shopping for baby bits in John Lewis. Grump was very superstitious about buying anything baby-related too early, so we left it quite late to get even the essentials. I had a list of things to buy on the day (changing mat, muslins, cot bedding etc) and then a list of things to look at for ideas. Oh and I’d seen a buggy I liked and it was on offer online, but I wanted to check it out in real life first.

Grump HATES shopping with a passion and he doesn’t understand the concept of browsing. He wants to go to one shop, get the item and go home. I like to browse in a number of shops, stop for coffee, do some more browsing and then buy the thing I wanted from the first shop we visited (its always the way). Oh and if you do buy said item in the first shop you visit, you will always find it cheaper or something better elsewhere – sod’s law.

So Grump and I NEVER go shopping together. However, in my hormonal state I wanted him to be involved with the pregnancy and the baby, so forced him to come with me. As you can imagine, it did not go well. In fact, it ended in me having a proper sobbing fit in the middle of John Lewis, with mascara and snot running down my face.

After looking at and testing out the buggy for 30 minutes, Grump couldn’t understand why we had spent so long looking at something we weren’t going to buy. Cue five-minute argument.

When we finally got around to ‘looking for ideas’ I got really overwhelmed by the sheer volume of baby products for sale. Never go baby shopping without a clear list of things to buy! And then saw the smug couple who had booked a baby appointment and were being guided around by a shop assistant with a handy checklist. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Why was I stuck with a stroppy man child who doesn’t care which pattern we get on the changing mat? What pushed me over the edge was when I asked him if he liked stars or polka dots for the changing mat and he told me he didn’t give a shit and could I just pick one. I had what I can only describe as a pregnancy tantrum.

Needless to say, I took my mum shopping with me next time. Bloody John Lewis with their sad adverts and multitude of baby products. At least they have a coffee shop, so I could sit with a hot chocolate and calm down.

Note to self for next baby: no, you do not need six swaddles, she only liked them for about a week and then wanted to get her arms out. Yes, muslin cloths are expensive, but they are essential and you need lots and lots and lots. And lastly, it doesn’t really matter what pattern is on the changing mat as it gets covered with wee and poo (we went for stars in the end).

P.S. The above photo is a small selection of some of the baby stuff we bought (not from John Lewis in the end).

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